Today I Am 60
Today I am 60. And for this accomplishment I think that I at least deserve a furtive round of applause. Just a polite recognition that I’m officially older than everyone I know…if fact everyone that I see on the streets.
Today I am 60. And I’ve seen some odd things in my vast life: Streakers. Mazatlan ca. 1979. That copywriter who wore a Viking helmet while he worked. The AVN Awards. And in addition I am still able to grab hold of occasional bouts of happiness, if I’m fast enough. And I’ve been published, which is a jolly thing.
Today I am 60. And when one has the audacity to do so, one can hear falling like acorns the warnings, regulations and guidelines to follow once one achieves “a certain age”. A silly expression, I’d just like to mention in passing: If you can’t bring yourself to mention the number – it doesn’t bother me; time is tedious and remorseless and there it is – then do take your delicate advice and deposit it somewhere else.
Today I am 60. And age-related advice is like bubble wrap: meant to be useful, but great fun to step on. I have all the things that the elders have been warmed against: make up, hair dye, buckets of jewelry, socks with pictures of Bambi on them – I have them all and simply can’t be give them up. I have mermaid earrings. A ring with a bunny on it. And did I say Bambi socks? Also skinny jeans: it took me 3 years to get into a size 9, and an unfortunate age won’t make me give them up. Immaturity, I believe, is not within the pervue of the fortunate few.
Today I am 60 and to honor the event, should I wish, I will eat pizza sitting on the steps of a public building, wearing a 1920’s style bathing suit.
I will drink a toast, only bypassing the glass and going straight for the bottle instead.
It’s so unfortunate that as one grows (very) older the limitations increase. In the wider scheme of things they’re small things, but come on. I’ve earned the freedom. And if it’ll make anyone happier, I do have my AARP card.
This was not meant to be belligerent. Is it? Obstreperous maybe, truculent perhaps…but all I really want to do is be friendly, charming, charismatic, alluring, dignified and delightful. And I want to invite you all over for plein-air pizza and wine.