Today I Am 60

Today I Am 60

Today I am 60.  And for this accomplishment I think that I at least deserve a furtive round of applause.  Just a polite recognition that I’m officially older than everyone I know…if fact everyone that I see on the streets.

Today I am 60.  And I’ve seen some odd things in my vast life:   Streakers.  Mazatlan ca. 1979.  That copywriter who wore a Viking helmet while he worked.  The AVN Awards.   And in addition I am still able to grab hold of occasional bouts of happiness, if I’m fast enough.  And I’ve been published, which is a jolly thing.

Today I am 60.  And when one has the audacity to do so, one can hear falling like acorns the warnings, regulations and guidelines to follow once one achieves “a certain age”.  A silly expression, I’d just like to mention in passing:    If you can’t bring yourself to mention the number – it doesn’t bother me; time is tedious and remorseless and there it is – then do take your delicate advice and deposit it somewhere else.

Today I am 60.  And age-related advice is like bubble wrap:  meant to be useful, but great fun to step on.  I have all the things that the elders have been warmed against:  make up, hair dye, buckets of jewelry, socks with pictures of Bambi on them – I have them all and simply can’t be give them up.  I have mermaid earrings.  A ring with a bunny on it.  And did I say Bambi socks?  Also skinny jeans:   it took me 3 years to get into a size 9, and an unfortunate age won’t make me give them up.  Immaturity, I believe, is not within the pervue of the fortunate few.

Today I am 60 and to honor the event, should I wish, I will eat pizza sitting on the steps of a public building, wearing a 1920’s style bathing suit.Image result for suffragettes - pizza

I will drink a toast, only bypassing the glass and going straight for the bottle instead.

Image result for ladies drinking wine - vintage photograph

It’s so unfortunate that as one grows (very) older the limitations increase.  In the wider scheme of things they’re small things, but come on.  I’ve earned the freedom.  And if it’ll make anyone happier, I do have my AARP card.

This was not meant to be belligerent.  Is it?  Obstreperous maybe, truculent perhaps…but all I really want to do is be friendly, charming, charismatic, alluring, dignified and delightful.   And I want to invite you all over for plein-air pizza and wine.


13 responses to “Today I Am 60

  1. I am so there… strutting whatever stuff I have in whatever 1920s fashion I can pretend! Happy happy happy day, glorious woman!

  2. I will be there, dear Aubrey — for the pizza, the wine, and the insouciance.
    I will bring my attitude along, if you don’t mind, because I’m seventy now, and I’ve developed it nicely. Here’s my birthday advice to you: don’t do as I did and wait until 70 to begin foregoing the boring, the irrelevant, and the stupid. Do it now. And keep those Bambi socks.

    Happy birthday!

  3. Happy Birthday! I’ll bet you don’t look a day over 40. (And do you remember when you would have found that comment insulting?) Yes, there are limitations, and I don’t mean the physical ones: one thing that has shocked and angered me is the amount of ageism in our culture, and in corporate culture especially. Several friends were suddenly laid off, in spite of good work reviews from supervisors and an excellent history of completing projects. The only explanation for it was that they had entered their late 50s/early 60s. One friend overheard a manager disdainfully talking about “pruning off the dead wood,” as if he and the others laid off were like so much unwanted junk to be rid of.

    I do applaud your wearing skinny jeans, though I’m at a point where I value comfort as much as style. I like elastic-waist skirts and jeans with stretchy panels in them (so you look skinny but with a little help). Enjoy your pizza and your vintage swimsuit! And here’s to swigging a toast straight from a bottle! Because we can’t waste time waiting to pour it into a glass. 😀

  4. Happy birthday! You are a fabulous woman at any and all ages!

  5. Congratulations to another glorious tour ’round the sun! 😃 May those Bambi socks and that bunny ring be with you till your 90!! I personally love Twain’s words (and I’ve seen it in truth, time and again) — “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

  6. Happy birthday. I thought of you yesterday when I learned that Aubrey Beardsley is one of the “heroes” depicted on the cover of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. I wonder which Beatle picked him.

  7. When a lady reaches a certain age, she is entitled to behave exactly as she pleases! I will save you a spot by the pool.

  8. Happy 60th Birthday, Aubrey!!!

    Ah, wouldn’t it be nice if streakers were our biggest problem? I turned 60 in January. I love the description of your eclectic set of treasures, especially the Bambi socks. 🙂

  9. A very happy birthday, Aubrey! I’m not (yet) 60, but I’m starting to embrace being old enough to not give a fuck about a lot of things, and I really enjoy scandalizing younger female friends who are still fretting about how to tell a guy they like him (say “I like you,” I tell them) and game playing in relationships. Life, even a long one, which I hope you have, is still too short.

  10. Happy happy birthday!
    We can do what we want.

  11. Happy Birthday Aubrey!

  12. Sorry I’m so late with this but Happy Birthday Aubrey! Hope you had a decadent and glorious celebration.

  13. Too late for the usual, so Happy Year, Aubrey. Always a delight to read you (and I don’t get here often often enough). Bubble-wrap indeed – I am 8 months behind you and will be popping any I come across.

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