Invitation Across The Nations

I have decided to make this is a far-flung announcement…a vast and distant solicitation…a remote provocation…a far-off summons.  To those of you familiar with the accumulation of mileage between their homes and Aubrey’s many-tiered château – you are invited.

You are invited to Aubrey’s domicile – wrapped in balconies and charm – to celebrate the fact that she has been clever enough to live another year.

You need not worry.  Since her age is so towering and ridiculous, clearly the theories of space and time continuums mean nothing to her.  She only needs to know that you want to attend – and really, how could you stay away – and your travel will not be a problem.  She’s tried this before, and while there were some glitches – some emergency landings, some turbulence, some roundabout tracks (hopefully those concerned enjoyed Alaska – hey, whales!) – but Aubrey has had a year to practice, so your travel will be taken care of with the happiest of arrangements.

And if you live close to Los Angeles, why are you reading this!  Start shopping!

Yes, shopping.  Aubrey has a list.  This is not to seem mercenary; rather, it is to save the invitees from any embarrassment.  Suffice to say, the majority of the preferences will fall under the category of Adornment.  And kittens.

And remember, adoration only requires a minimum of wrapping.

There will be no dress code at this party, save for the most important one – Aubrey insists on Fabulous.  And ladies, if you forget to take your tiaras out of the Tower storage, just let Aubrey know your preferred design, stones, height and she will lend you something delightful from her shiny collection.

As for food, no one need worry about disappointments.   Each person’s place setting will be full – and re-filled – with that individual’s favorite foods.


However, anyone who chooses to watch their calories at this gala will be politely invited to eat in the hallway.  Dieting depresses Aubrey.


There will be entertainment.  There will be dancing – the downstairs neighbors have been duly warned.   They have come to expect this sort of mischief on June 6.


In addition, previous parties have been known to get a little weird:



One year, Aubrey had to take all the pretty gift satchels filled with money down to the precinct to bail out all of her jolly participants.  It was too embarrassing, dear ones, and it cannot happen again.

However, birthdays will happen again.  And again, and again.

And you will be invited to them all.


23 responses to “Invitation Across The Nations

  1. Huzzah! Your fetes are always the best. Do start the bubbly, Jeeves.

  2. Will I need to dress for dinner? I haven’t worn my tiara since—well, the last century. And I need new evening slippers. The old ones have lost their glimmer.

    You like cheese, right? I have some Point Reyes goat cheese, mild and creamy but with a little zest. Perfect on water crackers with caviar. Dom Perignon optional but it does add to the happy. And you must be Happy on your Day, Aubrey darling!

  3. I shall have to dress down if you are only requesting fabulous, but I shall be there to dancer on the table tops above the neighbours heads. Happy annual continuance – many more to you too!

  4. Oh, I am the worst dresser to have ever been born. But, I will be there, in something whirly and twirly! And please save a tiara for me!!!
    Happy happy day, Aubrey!

  5. I love a reason to dress in Fabulous Sparkly Creations! And I love a reason to celebrate our Aubrey! I will be there, bearing gifts of sparkling radiance (and the occasional purr). My tiara got caught in the light fixtures last time, and the jeweler (alas) has been unable to return it to its proper shape, so if there’s a diamond tiara available, I will be happy to don it upon my arrival.

    Happy Day of Gleaming Delight, Aubrey!

  6. Oh, such a happy birthday! I wouldn’t miss your annual celebration for the world, dahling! My fabulous outfit – complete with many tinkling bells – is laid it out with great care and anticipation. My tiara has finally been released by your local law enforcement’s evidence storage from the last party and it looks forward to another fantastic time!
    BTW- I always thought “lard” suffered more from its unfortunate name than by its fatty scrumptious goodness.

  7. I ate nine dolmades for lunch yesterday. I look forward to breaking that record at your fete full of food favorites and free (re-)fills.

    As far as presents go, I will bring you a glamorous mannequin head. You could put a hat or a tiara on it, I guess.

    Clothing may prove a problem as all I have are five gray t-shirts that say “Nerd Bird” on them. I’ll wear my best one.

    I probably won’t dance.

    Happy birthday.

  8. Lol – they’re happy because they eat lard.

  9. Many happy returns of the day, Aubrey! I’ll be the one in a something adorned with peacock feathers, I think, and raise my glass of non-alcoholic bubbly to your very good health!

  10. Happy birthday! I believe I will dine upon a pie whose thick, flaky crust is infused with lard, thank you very much.

  11. Can the kitties come? Lilac shall be delightful and Little one will be Devine. Happy Birthday.

  12. Many Happy Returns, Aubrey! I’m afraid I am a little late as, during the voyage from England, we were waylaid by those fabulous whales (I did so wish to see them). And then, once ashore, there was a mishap with the phaeton – the carriage lights failed, and it was necessary to don two tiaras (I keep a spare in my reticule) in order to generate enough sparkle to light the horses’ way… Fortunately, the dazzle was so bright that, as we travelled, I was able to continue composing my answers to your marvellous Liebster Award questions. My composition is nearing completion (at last!) So, I do hope it will be a case of better late than never! Happy Birthday!

  13. beautycalyptique

    happy new year to the house of The Café Royal 😉

  14. LT – Bathtub gin will do for some, but bathtub bubbly is far superior. Feel free to imbibe, LT.

    Hangaku Gozen – We still have some tiaras left! We have one studded with peach-tinted diamonds…very rare, very unique: yours for the asking!

    FD – I knew I had to tread carefully when inviting a goddess: feel free to tread above us and harass – beautifully – the neighbors!

    Lauri – Whirl! Twirl! Enjoy lard!

    Beth – Aubrey is honored by your sparkly wishes. Your lack of tiara will be no problem. Those that are still here are completely passed out – you can ‘borrow’ from one of them!

    Amy H – We approve of bells! Your tiara, if we recall, had tiny golden bells cascading from its edges – many people commented on it. I hope you didn’t have too much trouble retrieving it from the officers!

    M—–l – Yeah, you’ll dance. You’ll dance for dolmades.

    Jane – We provide all guests with Lots of Lard. It is the stuff that dreams are made of.

    LC – Thank you! Your feathers quite reached the ceiling – where did you find them, you clever – and fashionable – minx?

    phantomxii – Infused and ENTHUSED with lard.

    kittyadventures – We need lots of kitties! Aubrey awaits their purrs of congratulations.

    bookishnature – Such a clever use of the tiara – we like! To be waylaid by whales is an honor, not a problem – hopefully you enjoyed your encounter with those noble creatures.

    beauty – Thank you; here’s to a collection of more and more years!

  15. I knew i had baked that cake for someone.
    Fabulous outfit will just have to be Festooned with Cats.

  16. Such elegance and whimsey! And the message is clear, my dear Aubrey – we all shall be larden with gifts!

    Who knows? I haven’t dyed a pair of satin heels to match a dress in ever so long. This may be just the right occasion!

    Best wishes and every good wish for a marvelous year to come – the best ever, shall we hope?

  17. Have a fabulous day Aubrey. We shall raise a glass to toast you from Scotland.

  18. lauowolf – Festooned and festivities with cats!

    shoreacres – Thank you! Dying slippers is as easy as decorating eggs for Easter – and while it doesn’t celebrate my resurrection, it certainly celebrates my birth, which is close enough, and not sacrilegious at all!

    fifepsychogeography – Thanks! I shall raise my whiskey sour and lean as far north as I can to clink glasses with you!

  19. Oh my, a belated Happy Birthday to you, dearest Aubrey! I hope your special party was full of fabulous adornments and delighted kittens, and that you enjoyed every minute of the festivities. So sorry I missed it!

  20. You will know me by my scarlet fascinator, dear Aubrey, and the trays of gin and tonics within my reach!

  21. we have just the bias-cut-falls-like-water-in-versailles-satin-dress to wear too.

    happy birthday dearest one.

  22. Hahah! This is FABULOUS. I swear, if I wasn’t living catty-corner from you geographically, I would have attended… With bells on. I already have the ’20s bob, even a flapper’s dress. So you would have only had to add gin to create a little chaos. This is the best invitation ever — happy, happy (belated) birthday to you!!

  23. Sparkling as usual, Aubrey. I enjoy your parties better than some that are more shall we say, local. But if I ever do make it to your region I will find a lovely handmade number just for your party. And I’m usually surrounded by kittens or some cute animal at any given time, so you can enjoy that. A very Happy Birthday.

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