Aubrey Is Old

So old in fact, so barbarically, so resounding, so incessently old that I thought that this year’s birthday celebration should be a subdued one.

Couples Only

 Intoxication was of course encouraged.  My cellar, though small, is eclectic and I was prepared to be generous.  A five course dinner – in addition to savouries and a palate-cleanser before dessert – was served:  finger foods, however, only lead to food fights and practical jokes (don’t ask).

A strict dress code was enforced.  No paste jewels.  No one under 30 wearing a fedora.  If a gentleman wears a tie, WEAR A TIE CLIP.  Aubrey doesn’t want to see a soup-sodden strip of fabric tied around a man’s neck.  No tiny cocktail dresses:  Aubrey finds them boring.  Ladies, wear a tiara and you get a better table.  Guys, you’ll just have to think outside the box.

So all in all, I think things went pretty smoothly.  I did break into tears during my thank-you speech, but that was only because I had just found out that we had run out of potato salad.   

Have you had your birthday yet?  I hope it was a good one.  If you have yet to have one, good luck to you and make sure to double up on groceries.


14 responses to “Aubrey Is Old

  1. It sounds like it was a wonderful birthday, celebrated with the style we have come to expect from someone so exceptional!

  2. Happy Birthday!!! (Late)

  3. (belated) happy birthday!

  4. Birthday wishes and candles from here too!

  5. Very happy birthday!

    I didn’t know that tie-clips were back in — and fortunately the ironic-fedora-hippster seesm to be fading (we call him “Stupid Hat Guy”– though in a moment of horror, last week we did observe a “Stupid Hat Kid”! I wanted to call Child Protective Services.

  6. I think this is one of your funniest posts.

  7. Bosh, I think you’re just a slip of a girl yet. You’re hardly old at all!

    I’m glad you had fun, surrounded by friends, though the disappearance of the potato salad was sad. Cake is always good consolation, however. 😉

  8. happy birthday from the miaos! *purrs*

    papa miao never goes anywhere without a tie clip, yet that does not prevent soup from finding its way onto his ties…

  9. A very wise choice to prohibit paste jewels at your birthday dinner. It just encourages tasteless extravagance… Hope it was a good one!

  10. Oh happy belated birthday. I am so glad that you celebrated, and in such style!

    Ladies, wear a tiara and you get a better table. – a lesson best learned early in life, I feel!

  11. amy – How adorable of you. You shall receive an invitation next year.

    dora – Thank you! Late is OK – you’re excused!

    fatcat – All good wishes are welcome. As are gifts. Just leave them by the back door.

    alleycat – With candles too? Are they the kind that never blow out? I can celebrate all year!

    steve – Every now and then I see a young ironic fedora, and something inside of me dies. I should think that CPS should have a fashion division.

    M—–l – This reminds me of one of my favorite Salinger lines. It’s from the short story ‘Uncle Wiggly in Connecticut’. A woman is on the phone, and has just said something mildly snarky. She pauses, as the person on the other line answers. The woman then says: “I’m not funny – it’s just my face”

    Hangaku – Thank you so much. Yes, cake would work in a pinch, but I’m not sure. Standing in front of all of those people, with no promise of potato salad afterwards…it just sort of broke me.

    Little M – Birthday purrs are the best! Thank you and thanks to all the miaos!

    Redz – Tastelessness is bad enough, but when it becomes extravagant we as a society must feel obligated to put our collective foot down!

    FD – My goddess, you are so right, and you are a shining example of this. It isn’t the name or the money that gets you the best seat in the house – it’s the jewelry. As if this even has to be said!

  12. If by ‘old’ you mean ‘fabulous’ then yes, Aubrey. You are old and have been your entire life. ❤ Happy birthday, dear Aubrey!!!

  13. I’m days late to the well-wishing, dear Aubrey, but since I wish you a whole year of joy till the next one, I hope my tardiness doesn’t render me churlish.

  14. I am sorry to send you my bouquet of good wishes so late, I feel very introvert these days, and busy working in the garden. May I send you at least the hope for a year full of serenity and inspiration.

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