The Eyes Don’t Have It

I have often indulged in the sin of Pride.  So sue me.

My eyes have been given the noncommittal color of 'hazel'.  Not brown, not green, nowhere near the feminine ideal of blue.  So they have been punished with the name of a shrubbery.

But mine have a ring of yellow as well, nudging the brown towards green, and bringing the entire ocular equation to the sum of a cat's eyes.  And that's what makes me proud.  If a cat can look into my eyes and recognize an equal instead of an inferior, well – hand me my cloak of self-esteem, because it's been cold lately.

All through my life, my eyes have dared to be feline.  And dare I say it, I believe that they are my best feature.

So that is my sin. And so I wait for my penalty.  And it is this:  I can't see.  My sight is so intensely, so devastatingly, so stunningly Bad that it takes my breath away.  It should take your breath away.  In fact, are you still out there?  Is there anyone left here in the auditorium?  Where the devil did I put my glasses?

I've worn glasses since I was 10-11 years old.  As I've grown older, along with the legion of other things that have deteriorated just because I've had the nerve to add another number to my age, my eyesight has become worse.

So today I went to see – as well as I could – my optometrist.  I endured eye drops and little lights and myriad different lenses to compare and criticize.  And in the end I knew the suggestion that was coming, and I welcomed it:  bifocals. 

My lenses will be split into pastures where my eyesight could find comfort and focus.  I'm keeping my old frames, and the new lenses will show no Demaracation Of Shame.

Anyway, what else could I do?  My eyes are bad.  They need help.  Surgery scares me.  Contact lenses feel like iron discs pushed under my lids.

Really – it's such a pleasure to have an obvious choice.

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22 responses to “The Eyes Don’t Have It

  1. One of the most annoying things in life is that before one can do anything, anything at all, one must first find one's glasses. How, pray, do we find them when we cannot see?

  2. Will you have a spare pair somewhere too, aubrey? I have two pairs somewhere. At the moment I can't find either of them.

  3. When I found that I was having to ask strangers what price tags and labels said I realised I was going to have to give in and get reading glasses. Now I wear them on the top of my head so I can always find them.

  4. An easy choice is a rare treasure these days for sure. Embracing your life as you always do, dear Aubrey, and all it brings–including bifocals. :-)My eyes border on hazel–not a dark brown like Sispo's, but much lighter, a touch of green, and a darkness around the iris. Like you, I take pleasure in the variable nature of my eyes (but not always my vision…oh well).

  5. when I met the delightful Aubrey in Chicago, I was first taken by her beautiful and mysterious eyes. there is some of the feline there.heh at "Demarcation of Shame". meself, I've opted for adding a set of reading glasses to my previously sufficient-for-everything glasses.

  6. To have met Aubrey … the thought makes me swoon.Beware evil rugs! Aubrey's eyes have superpowers nao! Oooh, did you get cat's eye frames?!Last week, I ordered new glasses, on-line! Eek. Couple co-workers talked me into it. Not brave enough to order these, so I ordered these.

  7. O the curse of imperfect vision. I've been wearing corrective lenses since I was six, but contact lenses allowed me to be in denial for almost 20 years. Then the eyeballs got too dry for contacts, so I had to switch to glasses. Then I wasn't able to watch videos or PowerPoint presentations from the back of the room (which may have been a blessing), so the eye doctor switched me to bifocals.

  8. I have the wonderful and ever-changing hazel eyes, too! I love 'em, though sometimes I wish they were a bit greener.
    I also share the glasses, though no bifocals yet! Also, is there anything more terrifying than mislaying one's glasses? I've only done it a few times, since they're on my face for everything but shower and sleep, but when it happens it suuucks. It's like that Twilight Zone episode with the bookworm.

  9. Doug/IG/Alex – have you ever watched yourself, out-of-body-like, as you searched for your glasses? Is there a more ridiculous-looking sight?
    Emjay – when I get tired of not being able to read peoples' expressions, or to even see if they were looking at me…well, something had to be done.
    JP – maybe 'hazel' is not such a condemnation? There is much to be said for a color – or anything – that can't be defined in a couple of words.
    Mariser – How I miss the meet in Chicago; and the mysterious means Arbed used to get our spectacular hotel! I too have a stable of glasses, of varying strenths and shapes – of course, I can't imagine where I put them.
    pyrit – hey, those are Dana Scully glasses! And as a matter of fact, I do have cat's eye glasses!
    Hangaku Gozen – yep, seeing across the room: who knows, maybe I was never able to do that. And when the bossette wants to show us something on her computer, and we all crowd around…and I have to stall everything while I run back to my desk and get my glasses. Enough, already.

  10. You do have cat's eye glasses?! Squeeeee!!!!!I Googled Dana Scully. No idea.Next time, I'm going for the Ozzie-Lennon-Ghandi-Potter ones.

  11. Dana's have nose pads. I got a thing against those!You must get yourself some cat's eye gemstone jewelry now.

  12. I've been wearing glasses since kindergarten. I had a brief flirtation with contacts in high school, but the one thing worse than flailing around in the morning groping for glasses is flailing around, etc. so that you can get to the bathroom and stick pieces of plastic into your eyeballs.I keep about 2 old pairs on the bedside table so that I can use them to find my current ones, which are difficult to spot and easy for a certain tuxedo cat to hide.I tried the variable lenses, but went for good ol' bifocals. It was a choice between the Demarcation of Shame or the Headaches and Tripping of Shame and Pain.

  13. Having gone through the bifocal crap over 10 years ago, I am glad to say that you do adjust quickly and are simply grateful to be able to see anything at all!I got eye surgery for the distance vision which is now perfect. Yay! For reading I have glasses lying all over the place. Growing more mature is a pain in the ass, but it so far beats the alternative. I can't wait to meet you, too, Ms. Aubrey and stare into your eyes!!! *you are getting sleepy*!!!

  14. Ack! You sound like my twin! I have worn glasses since I was about 11, also.
    I have an appointment with my eye doctor this Saturday, about six months past due, and I'm crossing my fingers that he won't want to put me in bifocals. But I have really been struggling the last few weeks, especially with reading smaller print. Maybe just strengthening the prescription in my lenses will do the trick. (Hope, hope, hope.)
    I really don't want to give up my contacts yet, either, but the last couple years I've really fought with dryness and discomfort, too. Bleh.

  15. I got bifocals (well, the progressive lenses type) when I was 35, so I've been wearing them for (gulp) 17 and a bit years now. I am so grateful for them! I've been wearing glasses since I was 8 1/2, probably needed them before that.
    Your eyes sound beautiful! Mine are "gray in some lights and moods, and green in others" (Anne of Green Gables eyes) with a dark ring around them. Don't know what animal that makes me…
    Yay for seeing!

  16. You're the second peep who just went bifocal. I'm next if and when I ever have money or a job again; in the meantime, can't wait to hear how you like 'em. They're quite the adjustment, so I've heard, so good luck and keep us posted.

  17. pyrit – I used to have Scully frames: she looked cute, I looked goofy.
    LT – I would always lose one contact lens; and when it came to ordering another one, I was…just…almost sure which eye I was ordering for. But never completely.
    Lauri – the time of our meeting will come, never fear! And lasik surgery has been suggested to me, but I won't make that final step. I've spent so long being corrected by lenses, that I'm willing to stop there.
    TreeSweater – why wouldn't strengthening the prescription work? But if the sight range changes or alters, bifocals might be your answer. Let us jump off the building together!
    Morgat – you started young! I remember taking care of them when I was little – just like they were made of diamonds; I once left them at school over the weekend: oh, the terror!
    Waterbaby – I should be picking up my old frames/new lens this week. If they will keep me from ripping my glasses off my head whenever I need to read something closeup, it will be money well spent.

  18. Oh darn it, I wish you were closer, my friends and I have bad eyesight contests. Have you ever asked the doctor what your vision is, only to have him say, "At some point we stop counting…."? That's how bad mine are.
    Glasses are cool. Good choice to avoid surgery. You're just permanently damaging your eyes. I wear contacts but it's not without a price (I only keep them in a few hours a day).
    ps Hazel eyes are pretty.

  19. definitely hold off on surgery… not cause you're afraid but because there are some exciting options in development right now.about 2 months after my eye exam (20/15), I had my first presbyopic experience (couldn't thread a needle) and was DEVASTATED because I fully understood what it meant as far as eye deterioration (it only gets worse from here).

  20. Emmi – I can only imagine what a 'bad eyesight contest' involves – or what the winner gets! Acceptance can be fun, too.
    LeendaDLL – it seems that surgeries are like computers; every few months there's something new in development. I can thread a needle, but only with some trickery. (hold a dark thread against a light wall so it'll show up – light thread, reverse the process).

  21. Haaa! Well my friend Rosie does own two swords, we should buy a set of darts for next time.

  22. Good for you, Aubrey! As soon as my replacements come in, we can compare notes (hopefully because we'll be able to see them finally).

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