Why Hello, Mr. Whiskey Sour

I didn't see you standing there.  Do you mean you're waiting for me?  You know you're rather a stranger in these parts – and I make it a point not to fraternize with outsiders.

You've been referred to me?  By whom?  Do I know this person by name?  Oh.  Yes – a co-worker.  And you've been described as smooth, yet biting and delicious?  I notice the cherries – what purpose do they serve?  No, I'm not being cheeky, I just don't see them working successfully with a jigger of whiskey.

You know, I've never trusted whiskey.  Something masculine about it.  The last whiskey drink I had was a whiskey and soda I ordered when I was out on a date.  It's an old story, Mr. Sour, and I don't think I need to go into detail.  

What?  My, you are talkative for a famous mixed drink whose sources date back to the 1870's.  I agree – this is our Christmas party, and my intention is to get beautifully tanked before the appetizers are served.  I'm not sure how you know this, but yes, it is time to celebrate – sloppily.

And…you like my skirt?  Now you're making me nervous.  I'm old, and I don't know how to deal with compliments anymore.  But in that case, let me say that that is a pretty glass – squat but graceful:  I wish I could manage that.

OK.  My sobriety is boring me, and I'm sure it's boring everyone else at this table (I'm a jolly drunk, Mr. Sour, trust me )  Are you a sipping drink?  I will approach you as such – I did so enjoy our conversation, and it would be tragic for it to dissipate quickly.

(pause)

SIR!

You deny your family name – you are sweet, sublime, and with each sip the maraschino cherries delight and tease my vision.  You, sir, are an adorable drink, and you are very well met.

Waiter!  Another!

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24 responses to “Why Hello, Mr. Whiskey Sour

  1. Congratulations on discovering what I learned as a child (mom used to let me eat the cherries out of hers).

  2. love love love this~! great writing!

    candy

  3. It's the same concept as Iceland – 'sour' discourages the faint-hearted. πŸ˜‰ Toast well!

  4. But wait — Maker's Mark is bourbon!

  5. This was such great writing! And fun!

  6. Oh, how Dorothy Parker of you! Delicious.

  7. Cute blog! I've never had a whiskey sour, but I do enjoy the occasional ammerato sour.

  8. I'm intrigued…and also heading out to a party tonight, so I will try one of these.

  9. In my days of alcohol consumption, when I was first in the service, that drink, though usually for women, was my favorite. I found further that, a mixed drink will get you drunker than a straight whiskey. Reason? The mix fools the body. I prefer other things in highs. Alcohol does not just free my inhibitions, it makes for bad dreams, while I am wide awake. That may be okay also but it affects others. Still in all, I think a Whiskey Sour is a good tasting drink. In my last days of drinking, I went to Beefeater Gin and Tonic, dry but not arrid. I used to ask for a twist, meaning lime, as opposed to a squeeze, meaning lemon, three marischino cherries and always a double. I love an open bar. I used to get drinks for everyone at the table. Two or three would always drink, 'exactly', what I was drinking. Saves on the missed conversation. Have good safe holdays, whoever this reaches. Do not let the efforts of the liquor industry put your sense out of reaches. When it comes to your liver, stay with a smile, it reacts in kind, keep your blood free of bile. I liked to drink, but now I am not like them, I had a scan, Scolarium 99-M. Look it up I can't do everything here. I found that out about five minutes ago. Every hour, of every ten minutes.
    Peace and Happies Tony

  10. Bourbon whiskey? When this 'co-worker' ordered it for me, I distinctly heard him say 'Maker's Mark'.
    He thought I should either have a whiskey sour or a rob roy.

  11. Lovely post Aubrey-though I'm having a little tΓ¨te-a-tΓ¨te with the Oh god of hangovers today (x-mas party at work last night), so the image leaves me very un-tempted πŸ˜‰

  12. Ha, very lovely, as always: but when I start talking to my drink, I know I've had too much.

  13. I like the direct conversation approach.
    A witch once taught me to make a love potion using whiskey – quite feminine actually. The trick is steeping herbs in it and keeping it in a dark, cold place for 2 weeks. Works every time. πŸ˜‰

  14. And another, and another… LOL

  15. Your co-worker is a man of refined tastes, indeed (it does taste better with bourbon in). Two classic drinks that need more attention nowadays.Emmi, a good grade of whisky or bourbon will work as a love potion on me, even sans herbs. πŸ™‚

  16. You're a good drunk? I'm a good drunk! We should get drunk together and entertain people!I've never had a whiskey sour. But, last weekend – at the italian restaurant that was part of our progressive dinner, I had 2 amaretto sours for old time's sake. As good as I remember – but too weak to provide even a buzz.

  17. Really? Are you free for dinner?
    (Just – kidding – ) πŸ˜€

  18. [This is not writing, this is objet d'artbrey.]Did you tie the cherry stem in a knot with your tongue?(sings) "Pissing the night away, pissing the night away…"I always look for the hidden pictures in liquor ad photos. Cheers!

  19. So glad you met and will meet again. Not as glad as you, no doubt! I love this piece.

  20. i love whiskey..but I might need to try a whiskey sour sometime…

  21. Lovely ode to an adorable drink!

  22. I need to revisit Mr. Sour. It's been years and years and years…..apparently I have been missing out on something! πŸ˜€

  23. Lovely! I might have to become acquainted with Mr. Sour, myself.

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