Aubrey’s Aweigh

Some time ago – a good, long grateful distance – Boyfriend had an idea.  A terrible one, in my opinion.

First, let me explain: he wants me to be a surfer…so I can look thick and ridiculous in a wetsuit, stagger into the ocean, slither onto his surfboard (with equal, deplorable grace) and ride in on my stomach.  This isn't surfing – but it's as far as I intend on going.

And it leads to his terrible idea:  to get me on the board miles and miles from shore (it certainly seemed that far!) and desert me.  Once on shore he would take my picture, alone, nervous and surrounded by miles of blue life:

The first picture he took of me in a similar situation is similar, yet different.  This time I was more at ease, more relaxed; this time I was not so ready to kill him as soon as I got my feet on the precious, yellow sand.

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13 responses to “Aubrey’s Aweigh

  1. i thought the pic was awfully familiar. good to know i'm not completely insane.i'd like to try surfing but really really really do not wish to see my body in a wetsuit. i saw a smaller size of me in a wetsuit and that was plenty scary enough for one lifetime!maybe if el nino picks up, i'll be able to try it in just a swimsuit

  2. Oh Aubrey – I so identify. I never want to be out floating on the water unless it's on a luxury boat. I love that you have lipstick on (or appear to) – I never leave the house without it.

  3. If surfing meant just lying on the board and floating around, I'd be all for it – but then that's what floaty rafts and swimming pools are for. And it's hard to get a cocktail in the ocean, you know?

  4. It sounds fun: but I've never been a strong swimmer and the northern California coast is hunting grounds for sharks, owing to the presence of seals, who look like humans in wetsuits.

  5. Wet suit aside, I'd like to be out there on the water like that. It would be so wild and free, like being in space only with the necessary oxygen and so forth. 🙂

  6. Shock! I've never learned to surf! It looks like such *fun.* Once you get the hang of it.

  7. Poor Aubrey, not feelin' the stoke! 😦 I've always wanted to try surfing since I love to watch it so much…but…who knows how I'd feel once I actually got out there, you know?

  8. I would just like to thank you for writing a post that wasn't all fancy and poetic. You have a beautiful writing style, but I feel stupid when I have to look up your words in the dictionary.

  9. LeendaDLL: With my starting, and Boyfriend finishing, it takes me 5 minutes to get into my wetsuit. A lengthy, embarrassing job.
    Emjay: Yes, that's lipstick; it doesn't smear off no matter how many times I wipe out. My make-up is about half on; one must have some sort of armor on before going into battle, after all.
    MMB: Oh, there are waves and swells out there – you see that dark ridge behind me? That is a developing wave. Full of danger, that.
    Hangaku Gozen: Sharks are coming into the warmer water too; only the young, foolish ones take a bite, but that's no comfort – really – is it? Oh, the hat. I do wish it was chic-er.
    Lily: I think when one is finally afloat, and can't reach bottom…that's when the nervousness begins. I do love the ocean but…golly!
    Waterbaby: Boyfriend has been surfing for 25 years; he's under the impression that I'll get the hang of it. Not likely!
    DKN (and WB): The only time I envy Boyfriend and his surfing adventures is when he comes back with stories about dolphins, otters or sealions following him close by.
    M—–l: Thank you – and I would never stoop so low as to make you ashamed of your wit. Ca alors!

  10. thats quite wonderful…

  11. Good for you for getting out there. The great whites around here have made me perpetually afraid of the ocean (at least here). Plus, I'm such a wimp – no interest in freezing.

  12. I would love to be out there! But only on my stomach, too. I would never be able to get to my feet!

  13. You were very brave! I adore the hat. (I took a surfing lesson once. Well, I took a fall-in-the-water lesson once. That was enough.)

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