QotD: Sorry, You Can’t Wear That Anymore. So Stop It Before I Kill You.

What clothing item do you wish could be banned?
Submitted by Mike E.

This is a question fraught with danger.  So many people can be insulted.  So many misunderstandings.  So many misguided opinions.  So many harsh words and sharp blows.  So many tears and bitter recriminations.  So many families split.  So many divorces.

But what else can you expect – when one person's couture is another one's ipecac? 

What fun.

So let's start:

Knitted capsCaps of knitWoolen beanies.  Close-fitting head coverings which automatically rob the wearer of 50 IQ points once they are fitted on. 

Now, in a climate colder than the one I am cursed with, these are necessary objects.  I understand that. I know that many of my Vox neighbors live in Canada, and other places that feature cold, and that white stuff.  (And I don't mean the stuff you can find in the storage freezers at Chateau Marmont.)  In fact, I think I'm being a little harsh here, but I can't help it.  This question reaches out to a pain that is fundamental: a labyrinth of despair that cannot be uprooted.

So I'll continue.  I'm not talking about the pretty, frothy caps;  or ones made with a broad, cable knit.  Or ones with the cute strings draped down on each side.  Or the oversized ones which are just right for you if your face has the same amount of flesh as a 16-year old gamine.

I'm talking about the tightly-knit, tightly-fitting, unadorned caps, drawn close over the eyebrows…making the thought of an exposed forehead nothing but an idle dream.


Like I have said, there are many situations where these head socks will come in handy.


But here in Los Angeles, they are apparently worn to make a point, as a legitimate fashion statement.  An idea which makes me laugh until the blood gushes out of my eyes.


Here, the only statement they make is one of guilt.

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11 responses to “QotD: Sorry, You Can’t Wear That Anymore. So Stop It Before I Kill You.

  1. I'll support that. Most of the "urban" fads seem to be especially grating.

  2. (shakes head)
    So much fashion advice to be given. So little time.

  3. So right, Aubrey–they are so wrong.

  4. You win. This is now one of my favorite posts of yours. Pullover caps bring out that extra special something in your writing~~!
    I can honestly say I have never worn such a hat. My winter head wear is either the hood of my down jacket, or for those special occasions, my black felt pillbox hat with brown fake fur all around it. Goes well with my red ankle length wool coat with the oriental collar.

  5. pyrit, I see you in a Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat. Nothing less.

  6. I have worn such hats, but in a climate in which I would otherwise lose my ears to cold. Also, mine were always brightly colored and in my youth, were topped with perky pompoms. Sometimes they were mom-made. I also have one in the name and colors of my high school, suitable for wearing to football games in crisp autumn night air. Even Mr. LT's sober navy blue one had a white accent stripe.The ones Aubrey describes, however, say but one thing: "7-11 holdup".

  7. why would someone wear a knit hat in such a dry, hot climate??until about a year ago, i detested hats of all varieties. i'd rather freeze my ears off (something i nearly did a few times). now there are a few hats i like, but most of them lack any functionality. hats mess up my hair even more than the wind.

  8. I could not agree more, Miss Aubrey. I think the Fug Girls should follow your example and do a special post on the subject…

  9. lol… I know! People wearing knit hats in warm LA cracks me up too!
    While in California I have worn a knit hat exactly one time… in Yosemite. It was at least 30 degrees cold and a total fashion fooopah. I know, cuz I saw my chipmunk cheeks emphasized by the hat in the pics. But I didn't care… I was in beautiful Yosemite. 🙂

  10. Well put Aubrey, you had me laughing all the way to the milliners.

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