They Are Coming. They Are Here. They Are Chirping.

I hear them when I walk home.

I hear them rustling in the brush, in the leaves.

I hear their multitudes increasing.

I hear my heart pounding as I start to run, pursued by a primal, unexplained fear.

I feel their compound eyes staring…watching…waiting…

I feel the terror…

It was 98 degrees today.  The air is hot, reviving the slumbering hordes:  the nearly 1,000 Orthopterian breeds.


Singing?  It's the rallying cry of evil.

I am armed.  I have the tools of the trade.  I am girded and armored and strapped and trussed with armaments and poisons.

But there is only one thing which can truly save me.  It is dedicated to the protection of mankind, yet it is not human.  He purrs, in fact.  He is floofy.  He is handsome and brave.  He is undefeated.

These are the times that try men's souls.  That is why you need a cat to get the job done.

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14 responses to “They Are Coming. They Are Here. They Are Chirping.

  1. Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!

  2. I don't mind the crickets so much. They blend nicely with the frogs. The ones I don't like or locusts. yuck

  3. 98 degrees? Cwap! I'm glad I'm in Washington then after all. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I think we got into the 70's today, which is heaven for Western Washington after all the cold and rain.Hmmm….. maybe I could come live close to you in the fall and winter and come back here for Spring and Summer. Think that'd work? ;-)Btw….. have you been practicin' for the karaoke sing-off? Hmmm? Have ya'? *eg*

  4. You have complete visitation rights, MC2.
    Practicing? Not at all! I believe that I am traveling down the path of Embarassment…reaching the town of Laughingstock this August. (email me any more details you have, re: dates, etc.)

  5. Batcat to the rescue! Summer is early (at least by our northern standards), but the Batcat is never unprepared. He'll make cricket and cheese casserole and bake it in the hot sun. The cricket chirps will be replaced with purrs!

  6. I lof the sound of crickets! Tis seasonal music to my ears. But not for another month or so where I am. Batcat, stay away from mah crickets!

  7. Batcat, JP is obviously the victim of some sort of Cricket Confusion/Insect Dillusion. We can deal with her later.

  8. When we lived in LA, the biggest damn cricket in the world invaded the house.It was not a grasshopper.Huge and loud and fast.Sarah was all of maybe two and scared speechless.I was about to try to do my catching the nasty thing act, and Zelda woke up.Zelda the butter cat, the pink-nosed bunny-like little tuxie kitten, took one look at it and flew across the room.Got it in a single bound and ran away in triumph.

  9. The Batcat says: Munch munch crunch.(p.s. worry not, jaypo! the batcat will respect your wishes. perhaps a mass exodus of crickets from LA to the East Coast will lead you to change your mind, though. ๐Ÿ˜‰ i myself rather like crickets, and i free them whenever i have a chance.)

  10. TK is quite the bug hunter himself. I don't know how good he is with flying ones, but he swats spiders well.Purr-haps another issue of "The Adventures of Batcat and Bratcat"?

  11. Bughunting might be the perfect outlet for TK's more rowdy tendancies. If we rope off JP's backyard, do you think that the combined efforts of Lotus Batcat and TK will be enough to save a frightened nation?

  12. here, crickety-cricket-cricket! Come to mama! This is what I want you to do… [whispers into his ear]

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