I hear them when I walk home.
I hear them rustling in the brush, in the leaves.
I hear their multitudes increasing.
I hear my heart pounding as I start to run, pursued by a primal, unexplained fear.
I feel their compound eyes staring…watching…waiting…
I feel the terror…
It was 98 degrees today. The air is hot, reviving the slumbering hordes: the nearly 1,000 Orthopterian breeds.
Singing? It's the rallying cry of evil.
But there is only one thing which can truly save me. It is dedicated to the protection of mankind, yet it is not human. He purrs, in fact. He is floofy. He is handsome and brave. He is undefeated.
These are the times that try men's souls. That is why you need a cat to get the job done.