Have you ever been happy? (not "mellow", and I am not Olivia Newton-John, thanks for asking).
(start again) Have you ever been happy? Have you ever wondered how you got there? Did you recognize the terrible risk you were taking?
Did you look both ways?
I thought that I might be happy as recently as last Saturday. And I saw myself: about to cross a busy street, which was suddenly silent. All serene. But I paused before crossing to the commitment of light-heartedness. Because once a person starts that hopeful excursion, there's no turning back – you either make it to the other side, or you're blindsided by a forgotten worry that comes careening around the corner. And there'll be no ambulances or Sig Alerts - it'll be up to you to drag yourself out of traffic. And wait for the next time you have joyfulness under consideration. Which of course you must.
"The worst sin – perhaps the only sin – passion can commit, is to be joyless."
– Dorothy Sayers, Gaudy Night