Evil

His name is not JIMINY.  He does not SING.  He does not bring GOOD LUCK or GOOD KARMA.  His name is Evil.  He makes me whimper like a whipped puppeh and he brings fear and loathing into my home.

There was one in my hallway this evening.   It took all my courage to go for my fly swatter and not smack him silly, but smack him dead.  Smackdown!  is on tomorrow but tonight it was SmackDead.

No bug is charming, cute, or harmless when it's IN MY HOME.

I got issues.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Advertisements

14 responses to “Evil

  1. Ugh…I can't stand crickets. They used to swarm outside this fast-food place I worked at a long time ago. They stick to everything, and I'd have to go and knock them off of the drive-thru window with a broom.

  2. 1 word for you: DUSTBUSTER(PS — I don't know how long Vox can handle this state of Aubrey recursion. It's only a matter of time before the feedback loop precipitates a cascade failure and the flux capacitors seize.)(PPS — if some other Teho starts commenting on my Vox, teh internets will probably puke elephants.)

  3. *patpat* You toughed it out. Good for you. Stay strong. 😄

  4. My thoughts exactly! I was extremely proud of my mature and self-contained behavior. Except for the little scream when I thought its crushed carcass jumped out of the tissue I used to pick it up.

  5. Yeah, the Aubery thing is a bit bizarre 😉
    There seems to be some sort of fractal clustering going on.

  6. I find that spiders can be negotiated with.

    Cockroaches on the other hand, will feel the wrath of the
    rolled up newspaper.

    Ant’s suck cause they arrive in groups, and just when you
    reckon you’ve cleared them out, one will emerge from the sugar bag.

    Moths I don’t mind, until I remember that the little buggers
    have probably been chowing down on my favourite shirt.

    The New Zealand
    version of the Cricket (called a Weta) is basically harmless, until you find
    one in its favourite hiding place. Ones shoes.

    The shock when you slide your foot into the shoe will probably
    put you into the heart ward.

  7. OF COURSE spiders can be negotiated with – with the business end of my shoe.

  8. Grrr….
    The day I get you to take an innocent bug (it's a cricket, for Christ's sake!) outside, (unsmashed and very much alive, thank you very much) I will have conquered the world.

  9. I knew you'd be disappointed. I'm sorry, but Mr. Cricket was jumping IN MY FACE, and for all I know arranging an attack on my apartment – calling on all his woodland friends to assemble at my door. Sorry, woofie.

  10. There are centipedes in my apartment – they make me shudder like nothing else (well, maybe rats or insects/reptiles that could kill me). Luckily there aren't too many, but I feel out of sorts for quite a while after seeing one. kiki loves watching them though – if I saw her eating one, I'd have to have therapy.

  11. Yessir. I'm a mild creature that normally minds me own business, but cockroaches bring out the Roach Serial Killer in me. The day I arrived at my parents', there was one scurrying in the bathroom, ready to welcome me … lets just say I "returned him to the earth."

  12. I prefer a 'burial at sea', myself.

  13. OK, I’m glad to see that there is still a bit of life in
    this thread.

    Let me pose a hypothetical…

    Let’s say you were boiling up some pasta, with the intension
    of creating an al-dente bed for your special spag bol sauce.

    Say you leave the kitchen for a sec, and return to find,
    that a moth has mistaken the boiling pot as a spa bath.

    Hard to say how long the little bugger has been in there
    dissolving away.

    Do you drain off the pasta and serve yourself up a bowl of homemade
    moth seasoned Italian goodness?

    Or do you chuck the pasta and start over (checking the vicinity
    in case he has some suicidal mates flapping about?)

  14. OK, you're speaking from experience, just say it.
    Here's what you do, if you're me (after you've been revived):
    Scoop said invader out of violated pot with ladle. Drain. Pour cold water over indicated noodles, which you're supposed to do anyway, I believe.
    Continue with the bolognese sauce 'n stuff.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s